If you know me at all, you know my heart still breaks when pictures of our dog, Bailey, come up on the memory feed in Facebook. This blog isn’t specifically about him, but he taught me many lessons, and this is about one of those lessons. Indulge me in allowing me to share a few […]

Some people are good at the boundaries thing. When you approach them about doing something, you know they will carefully consider it.They will look at their schedule, the demands of their family time and whether they are actually drawn to an activity. They may pray about it. When they come back to you with an

Isn’t talking about boundaries and care in the same breath an oxymoron? Like jumbo shrimp or original copy, it seems contradictory. If you think that is true, I’ve learned two things about you. You don’t understand care, and you’re not clear about boundaries, either. Caring for an elderly person involves their physical care, emotional support

“Be still and know that I am God.” Ps. 46 10 I know that one by heart. I don’t have to look it up. But I am seldom still. Inside the house, chores scream at me to be completed. “I am dirty, clean me. I’ve been soaking all night, wash me. I am messy, tidy

“Good fences make good neighbours.” said the poet. Maybe his neighbour said it, too. I have no fence on my front yard, and my neighbour and I share the space. I walk across her side to get to the road. She walks across mine to get to the park.  We both make it work, and

Everyone has things they are famous for among their friends. If you need a card at the last minute, go to this friend–she always has the best cards. That co-worker is well-known for driving her kids and everyone else in her family–everywhere. Someone else will go shopping, anytime, anyplace. I am famous for carrying stuff

Georgina has can anxiety disorder. She doesn’t have dementia, but she perseverates (goes over and over the same issue) on many troubles. It doesn’t matter if all was well with this problem yesterday. Today is a new day, and you never know… I have a long history with Georgina. Sometimes, I need to reassure her,

I can’t stand it when people tell me to do or be something, or to not do or be something. Who are they to tell me, and if I am that thing, how am I supposed to stop? The “Don’t worry, be happy,” guy drives me nuts. I am worried and I’m not happy, so

Care partners are often making tough choices. When should I insist on doing all the driving? Can Mom safely live alone? Where can I find respite care for Dad? These are heart-wrenching. An even harder decision can be the day the care partner realizes she can’t do it all. When the demands on her life

If you’re not a care partner, you don’t understand. “Your mother’s in a home, so you’re not really caring for her, are you? All you have to do is visit. The staff at the home do all the caring. That must make life so much easier for you.” Do statements like that make you want