Care partners are often making tough choices. When should I insist on doing all the driving? Can Mom safely live alone? Where can I find respite care for Dad? These are heart-wrenching. An even harder decision can be the day the care partner realizes she can’t do it all. When the demands on her life […]

If you’re not a care partner, you don’t understand. “Your mother’s in a home, so you’re not really caring for her, are you? All you have to do is visit. The staff at the home do all the caring. That must make life so much easier for you.” Do statements like that make you want

The care partner’s journey has many aspects. Fear, laughter, love, insecurity, exhaustion are just some of the aspects. But there is no denying the stress, and today I am starting a series on dealing with some of the aspects. I don’t have all the answers, but you may find another tool you can use. Just

I haven’t spent a lot of my life in hospitals. I was born there, and sometimes around my third year of life, I had my tonsils out in a hospital. Each of my children arrived in one, and a few years ago, I got rid of a troublesome gall bladder there. Of course, that’s just

The care partner’s life is full of gut-wrenching decisions. When and how do I tell my mother she can no longer drive? How do I broach the subject of getting help for her? The doctor said she isn’t safe living alone–how do we have that conversation? How do I even begin looking for a place

I am not a natural leader. You know the type–charismatic, wise, interesting people who draw a crowd of followers wherever they go. That’s not me. I’m the one at the back of the crowd. I’m listening and processing what’s being said, and perhaps making notes. I’m following slowly until I am sold on what the

I was sitting in my spot on the couch watching Midsomer Murders on Netflix. This episode involved a suspicious death at a retirement home. The main character’s daughter had come to visit an elderly aunt, but had been charmed by another resident–a gentleman who must have been quite the rapscallion in his youth. As she

Are you ready to scream. cry, laugh hysterically, pound nails into a board and check into a hotel for a few days? Possibly all at the same time? You may be care partner for an anxious elderly person. Anxiety is an umbrella term for many clinical disorders, and I am not qualified to expound on them.

Anxiety is nothing to laugh at. Anxiety–real anxiety in the form of an anxiety disorder–can be something to cry over, stomp your feet in frustration about, tear at your hair when it is happening and leave you wanting to bang your forehead against a wall. Let me be specific. I am talking about an anxiety

I lie.Every day.It’s shocking, really. Here’s an example of one of my lies from today: Dr. M.: Have you seen my wife?Me: I saw her at lunch. (That was true.)Dr. M.: Do you know where she is now? I can’t find her.Me: She’s running some errands (not true), but she will be back at dinner.(true.)Dr.