Margaret liked her stuff. She wasn’t the least bit materialistic, but her sentimentality made it impossible to part with anything which had the slightest story attached to it. In her house, whole rooms were devoted to boxes of old pictures, which she planned to sort through someday, her mother’s teacups, her deceased sister’s treasures and furniture with a history. She loved to walk among it, touching this box and that chair and remembering.
When she had to leave her house, it took months to decide what she could part with, and in the end, the answer was, “not much.” Her apartment in her retirement home was crammed to the ceiling with boxes and stacks of precious items. Even her bathroom cupboards were packed. She sat looking at it all and wondered what to do.
Then she fell. Twice. Her family sat her down and had a serious talk with her about moving to long-term care where she would get the care she needed and staff would be around to monitor her. “But what about all my things?” Her son leaned across the table, looked in her eyes and said, “Mom, what do you think will happen to all this when you die?” His words startled her, but she knew the answer. No one in her family cared about any of the items in the boxes.
So this time, with her daughter’s help, she relentlessly discarded. Or so she thought. She exhausted herself deciding, and her dreams were full of insecurity as she questioned herself. Once she discarded an item she could never get it back so each choice she made felt momentous.
She moved into one room. After moving, a small pathway down the middle remained for her to walk, and at least 25 boxes sat outside the door. Her daughter’s red face dripped with sweat, and Margaret sat on the bed and cried. What should she do?
Planning for independence later in life starts many years earlier.
I learned this lesson when I became a widow at 53. My husband liked his stuff and collected many items. His stockpile of DVDs was epic. He filled countless binders with newspaper clippings. and kept every church bulletin. He loved books, all things musical–the list went on. It fell to me to decide what to keep, what to sell, what the children might like and what to throw out. It was a huge job which I attacked in layers. As I packed and sorted and tossed and made decisions, I thought to myself, “I never want my children to have to do this for me.”
Clear the Clutter
Look around your home. Check out the cupboards, the drawers, the closets, the storage rooms. What do you have which you never use? Are there boxes and bins you haven’t opened for years?
Start with one room. Give yourself as much time as you need, but keep at it. When you think you are done, give it a few days and go back and see if there’s anything else you can get rid of. Reward yourself if you find something. Then move on to the next room.
Margaret let her possessions possess her. They became so big that they affected her quality of life as she aged. Don’t let that happen to you.
Look After You
Medical events happen, and some aren’t preventable. As you age, your body doesn’t function as well as it did in your twenties. That’s not rocket science. But each day, determine to live the healthiest life you can. Make nutritious food choices, limit your portions, exercise and get enough sleep.
Participate in activities and pursue relationships which give you purpose and fulfil you. Life doesn’t come with guarantees, but give yourself the best chance when you pursue physical, emotional and mental fitness.
Check Your Home
Falls bring disaster. We’ll talk more about that next week. Check for any tripping hazards such as electrical cords or rugs. Scatter rugs should be removed as they have great potential to lift and cause a tumble.
Have someone install grab bars in your bathroom to make getting in and out of the tub easier.
Look into what technology has to offer in terms of monitoring, so if you do fall you can quickly get help.
Ask For Help
Don’t be stubborn. I’m preaching to myself here. If a task is becoming too difficult for you, ask for help. No one gives out awards for doing your housework into your eighties or lugging bags of groceries when it hurts your back.
Independence is a process. Start today for a better, more independent life tomorrow.CLICK TO TWEET
Care Partner Wednesday–EmpowerYour Later Years With Awesome Decisions Now
Care Partner Wednesday–EmpowerYour Later Years With Awesome Decisions Now