Supporting all who care for elders
I’m doing death better than I used to. When people are dying, it’s seldom pretty. Hollywood has glamorized it to something it’s not. For a newbie (at the time) like me, it was scary and I avoided it. I wasn’t in a position where I was supporting families at that time, and I made myself […]
Today, I had to write an end-of-life notice for someone who is dear to me. I struggled, deleted, started over and re-wrote. This notice is an email we send when a resident has been declared end-of-life by their doctor. The purpose is to let people know, so they can visit and say good-bye. We tell
This is it. From the time you became a care partner, you knew this day would come. You thought about it logically, had difficult conversations, and made impossible decisions leading up to it. You knew it was coming. You saw the signs. But your heart refused to see what your head knew. Until today. Today,
What Does “Keep Comfortable” Mean? Read More »
Your loved one lives in a long-term care home of some kind. They have been stable medically for a while, and you are thrilled to see them involved in the life of the home. Then one day, it happens. They develop pneumonia that doesn’t respond to treatment or a condition that requires intravenous antibiotics. Perhaps the
5 Reasons Not to Send Your Elder to Hospital Read More »
“If your heart were to stop beating as a result of heart attack, stroke, accident etc., would you like it restarted by the use of cardiopulmonary resuscitation?” It seems like a no-brainer. Duh–yes. Obviously, I need my heart to be beating to live. So, yes. It’s not that simple. There are facts about CPR you may
If My Heart Stops Beating Read More »
“I want some chocolate ice cream.” My co-worker, Melissa was startled to hear this. Paul was at the end of his life and had lost all interest in food. Although he could still swallow, he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for several days, and staff had been instructed not to offer anything. Melissa
Comfort Feeding Only Read More »
When Bill was dying of heart disease, I didn’t know he was dying. He was palliative and nearing end-of-life, but I didn’t understand those terms, and no one explained them to me. Perhaps because he was only 55, every medical person was full of hope until all hope was gone. One disturbing symptom was when
When Food Is No Longer Possible Read More »
Every care partner knows the end will come someday. Maybe they dread it. Maybe they welcome it. Maybe it depends on the day. Whatever your feelings, it’s likely that you have questions. Like the entire care partner journey, end-of-life is full of difficult decisions. There is no manual that helps you make the right one,
What Does End-of-Life Look Like? Read More »
When an elder reaches a certain age, and especially when they need care and move into a retirement home or long-term-care, a difficult conversation needs to happen. How do you want your story to end? For some people, this is unemotional writing of a living will, which expresses their wishes. Done, filed, don’t have to
Age is Just a Number Read More »