Do you have a bucket list? 
In thinking about this, I knew I had something written in a file stored on the cloud. Probably 10 to 15 years old, curiosity sent me searching for it. What did I put on there?
Some of the entries made me smile, some shake my head ruefully, and some can be added to a new list. Costa Rica tarpan fishing and horseback riding were in the “rueful head shake” category. I still want to see Canada and a hot air balloon ride might be a possibility. “Catch a big fish” made me smile. It was crossed out, and the last entry on the list was “Catch a bigger fish.” Maybe I should just say, “Catch all the fish.”
What if your bucket list contained things like
- put on my socks by myself
- make my own cup of tea
- make dinner (or part of dinner) for myself
For elders with dwindling independence, these may seem like high goals. But realizing them brings purpose and self-worth.
As care partners, we are good at what we do. Sometimes we turn ourselves inside out to ensure our elders are safe, clean and looked after. It’s important to realize that independence and the ability to accomplish simple tasks can be just as important.
Senior independence is important for two main reasons:
- Independence makes us feel recognized as legitimate members of society, and seniors can lose those feelings over time.
- Independence gives us the ability to determine our own path in life, which can feel hard to control in older age.
We all want to be contributing members of our community, no matter how old we are. We may need some assistance with things like transportation or shopping, but we should be defined by what we can still do rather than what we can’t do. We might need help, but we want to feel like we’re in control. We can still thrive and be independent – it just might look different at different stages of life. 1.
Listen to the wisdom of these two elders who looked at themselves and decided to accept who they were. Then they moved on from there.
We are all dependent in so many ways. I’m thankful for Amazon, and how I can order so much of what I need from them without leaving my house. But I need the people who made my laptop, the internet service providers, the hundreds of people at Amazon who put together my order, package it, the drivers who deliver it.
We depend on each other for almost every aspect of our lives. When our independence is removed in even small ways, we can panic. (Remember the toilet paper shortage of 2020?) But for elders, it goes deep.
Dignity and independence go hand-in-hand for our elders.
As you look at you and your elder, think today about how you can give the gift of both.
- https://www.tchabitat.org/blog/senior-independence-aging
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