I had a plan.
If I’d had a choice, I would have continued to work. I loved my job, derived great purpose from what I did and wasn’t emotionally ready to give it up. But severe arthritis and chronic pain showed me it was time. I didn’t want my team having to carry the load for me.
I lived alone, and I knew I needed to find purpose in new ways, and quickly. I planned to volunteer at church, perhaps at the food bank, and would go into work one day a week to cook with the residents.
Then the world shut down. Within two months, I went from leading a vibrant team of 30 people in giving cutting-edge elder care, working with a small group of advocates and getting mental and emotional input, support and encouragement, to…nothing. Crickets. Home alone with my dog, not able to go anywhere with anyone.
I had no purpose, and it almost killed me.
Several months into the pandemic, our church formed small groups called “church at home.” Each Sunday, we gathered with a small group of people who hadn’t been exposed to the virus. This “safe” group would watch the service online and eat a meal together. We shared the cooking at first, but after I practically begged, they let me take it over. This modicum of purpose held me together. People to engage with, a task, something that mattered. It took me through the rest of the pandemic.
Without purpose, we merely exist. Purpose is our reason for getting up in the morning. Some find it in their job, others, in relationships with family and friends. Some find purpose in faith, or in serving others. For many, it’s all of the above. Purpose brings the sparkle, the joy, the meaning to life.
For elders, especially those who defined themselves through their job, finding purpose is essential in retirement. Without it, they flounder. Life becomes like soup without salt. Bland. Tasteless.
This month, we are going to look at ways to find purpose, and some special elders who have done that.
First, let me suggest that finding purpose is closely linked to your love language. In The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman wrote about the ways we receive and express love. Your “love language” is intricately woven into your personality, and this affects what activities give you purpose. If you are struggling with finding purpose after retirement, or if some of your relationships could be improved, I challenge you to take this free test as a starting point. 
And my story? Three years after the pandemic, I have purpose overflowing in my life. I cook a meal once a week for a family of caregivers, volunteer at the church, make cookies for a youth drop-in. In between I write, paint, sew, garden and make treats for the kids next door. I enjoy delightful times with my grandchildren, and look for ways to leave a legacy of memories with them. I have a wonderful husband and enjoy time with him. Life is full of purpose and joy!