How to Move Independence in Elders Beyond the Impossible Dream

I don’t consider myself an independent person.

I once travelled to Disney with my sister and niece. They planned the whole excursion and I checked with them each day to find out which park or special event was on the roster. It didn’t matter to me. It was all fun, and I was happy to take their lead.

However, hidden deep within me is a streak of independence which frustrates the heck out of me.

I can’t drive at the moment.

I’m five weeks post knee-replacement surgery, and because it was my right knee, I may have to wait until the three-month mark before I can get in the driver’s seat.

A long list of chores, both essential and “I would just love to…” chase themselves around my head.They niggle at me, frustrate me and remind me every moment of my loss of independence.

Imagine how an elder must feel?

Track yourself for the next week. Every time you run out of something essential in your kitchen, need a haircut, have an appointment or want to visit a friend, think, “What if I couldn’t?” Minor chores become insurmountable obstacles.

Although this isn’t my first time in this position (I had hip replacement surgery last year) my understanding grows with each experience. And as frustrating as it can be for me, I know it isn’t forever. But what if it was? For an elder, when independence is slipping away, it’s never coming back.

I discovered, in my research, a fascinating program in England called “Renablement.” An elder is assessed and then given six weeks of support to help them become more independent. After a final assessment, they are cut loose with new or re-learned skills and an encouraged sense of self.

A key topic, independence necessitates getting inside the head of both the elder and the person giving care. Ability is often a moving target. How do you promote respect, give choice and allow as much independence as possible while providing support and care?

Let’s explore this and find some answers.

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