Everyone knows the illustration of the frog in the pot, right? The frog lounges in water in the pot and the heat is increased ever-so-slowly until the frog boils to death. A sad end to Freddie Frog.
Have you ever wondered what was going through the frog’s mind (assuming frogs can think–I haven’t actually researched that.) “Hmmm. It’s getting warm in here. Can someone turn the A/C on?” Does the frog stay there because he doesn’t know know how to get out? Does he even know getting out is a possibility?
As a care partner, you may relate to that frog. Life changed, then changed again, and then again. In tiny increments, the heat rose, and you started to sweat. Is there a way out of this pot?
This is never more true than during the pandemic. You may have had all kinds of supports in place that disappeared overnight in March. No more group support meetings, no respite care…suddenly you are on your own. Stress can mount to unbelievable levels.
How do you recognize care partner stress?
- feel tired most of the time
- feeling overwhelmed/irritable
- losing or gaining significant weight without trying
- loss of interest in activities formerly enjoyed
- headaches, high blood pressure, chest pain
- more susceptible to infections
- increased memory problems
- increased drinking or drug use (even prescription drugs)
- a new dissatisfaction and frustration with your employment
- feelings of isolation
- depression/anxiety
- unhealthy lifestyle choices related to diet and exercise
Many of these symptoms could be the result of various issues, but the questions to ask yourself are:
1. Is this different from the way it used to be?
2. Did the start of the changes coincide with my care partner duties?
3. Do I have a handle on it, or is it getting worse?
This last question requires a long, honest look at yourself and your situation. It may be valuable to ask family or friends their assessment of the situation. If your conclusion is that the pot is steaming, you need to take action. As a care partner, you have a demanding role and if you don’t look after yourself and get stress relief, you will crash and burn. If you get sick, what happens to the one you care for?
Exactly. Care partner stress can be deadly. It’s time to look after you.
*no frogs were harmed in the writing of this blog
Next week: Practical suggestions for dealing with care partner stress
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