This question could probably legitimately be asked of every person on the planet. All of our emotions swerve over this rollercoaster of life each day. We are hopeful, then angry, frightened then grieving, sick and then improving–or not. We’ve gone beyond hoarding and wondering when this will be over to speculating if it ever will. Could some version of this incredibly abnormal, be our new normal? Shudder.
None of this is more true than for the care partner caring for an elder in their home. Check out this equation:
I don’t have answers, but here are a few ideas which might bring the stress down a notch for a few minutes. Anything that helps is a plus in the equation.
Get Growing
The other day I cut the end off a celery stalk and stuck it in the green recycle. For some reason, I pulled it out a few minutes later and sat it in water in a small bowl. Look at it a week later!
Maybe it’s being isolated, but checking on the growth, which can be seen daily, is a high point in my day. Guess what I discovered? You can do this with all kinds of vegetables. I’m going to experiment with a few more things. Check out this video for ideas.
Regrow Your Kitchen Scraps
Get Creative
The calming effects of colouring have been known for centuries, but it’s more recent that adults have realized it helps them cope with stress.
Adult colouring books with beautiful patterns and designs are available from Amazon. Experiment with coloured pencils, crayons, oil pastels and even watercolour. The outcome may not be frame-worthy, but we are looking for stress relief here, not Picasso. You might want to try canvas and oil paints, too. I used to think canvas was only for serious artists, but that’s not the case. And if you aren’t happy with the outcome, paint over.
Another idea: I discovered an app called Happy Color for free in the app store. At first, I was ashamed to waste my time with this, but I now see it as a stress reliever. Here’s how it works: You pick a picture from their huge library. I prefer flowers and butterflies, but they have every style imaginable.
When you put it into your “my Feed” it comes like a huge “paint by number.” Along the bottom is a row of numbers. Choose a number and it gets a ring around it. Every spot where that number appears in your picture will be slightly darkened. When you touch it, it fills with the colour. When all the spaces of that colour are finished, the number flies away until there are no numbers left and your picture is completed. Here are a few I had fun doing. With a little guidance, your elder might enjoy this. Or do it together. 😀
Get Connected
Remember all those people before the pandemic who said, “Let me know if I can help.” Let them know. Now. They can’t come over but download zoom.us at the app store and learn how to set up a meeting. You get 40 minutes free per visit. Family visits, friends, grandchildren–all are possible. You can also use Skype, but if you graduate to groups of people, Zoom is easier. Make use of this technology to get and stay connected with those you love. Even if your elder is non-verbal or says little, being there for a chat will benefit them.
Get Together
I feel like I just said something incredibly inappropriate, but hear me out. The other day a friend of mine and I had a QuaranTea party. A warm day is a must, but I promise you those are coming. She brought a lawn chair and a thermos of tea and sat on my driveway. I had my cup of tea and my puppy and sat on the porch. We visited and it felt delightful. A real person. Ask the grandchildren to come to the end of the lawn and sing, or an old friend to walk by. We humans were built for connection and now more than ever we need to find ways to reach each other.
Get and Give
We all need a sense of purpose and for this time of isolation, it’s incredibly important. How can you and your elder help others in this time of need? Food banks are crying for donations. Make a list together and add several items you can donate. If you shop online, work together to choose the grocery items.
Another idea to encourage is painting rocks. Choose flat, rounded rocks and have your elder paint them in solid colours. When they are dry, add words of encouragement with a black sharpie. “Keep the Faith” “Better Days Are Ahead” “You Can Do This!” You may need to do the printing. Then go for a walk and have the fun of leaving these rocks in strategic places.
Connection and encouragement are lifelines. You need them. So do others.
Look for ways to spread hope today.
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