In celebration of my 300th blog, in the month of October I will be featuring a series called “Who is A Care Partner?” Each week, I will interview a professional care partner. Different responsibilities, nationalities, and perspectives, but one thing in common–a heart for elders. This is the second in the series.
Niala Dookie was born in Trinidad, but her ancestors came from India. Her great-grandparents came to Trinidad as children to work on the sugar plantations for the British. Her large family includes eleven siblings. As her father died when she was ten, her mother raised the children, fulfilling the roles of both parents. Now her mother has Alzheimer’s, and Niala looks after her.
I came at 18 with my mom and four of my
brothers. We came to live in Winnipeg as two
of my sisters already lived there.
The rest of my family moved to
Toronto, but I stayed in Winnipeg
until 2011. My mom had a fall and broke
her hip after her 80th birthday,
and my family realized she couldn’t live alone.
What made you choose to be a professional care partner?
I trained as a medical assistant, but couldn’t find work in that field. I’d also worked as an office assistant. I cared for my mom already, so it seemed natural to decide to take the PSW (Personal Support Worker) course. When I graduated, I came to work at Christie Gardens, a continuum for elders in Toronto, which includes independent living apartments and life lease suites and a care floor. http://christiegardens.org . I’m still here.
You are looking to change careers and serve elders in a different way. What made you decide to take this route?
Working as a care partner, I heard about the Eden Alternative, the philosophy of care that looks at the whole elder, and takes a person-centred approach. My desire was to do more than just help our elders get dressed or get their meals, I wanted to give them a voice. My passion is that each is treated with dignity, given independence in a personal and private manner, with safety foremost. This is how I treat my mother and all elders.
I decided to take the Activation and Recreation Coordinator Course in Gerontology at George Brown College. In my second year, I’m learning so much about people living with dementia.
You have some special challenges, as you aren’t only a care partner at work but at home. Tell us about that.
It is challenging, but if you love what you do, it doesn’t seems as much so. People laugh when I say I go to work to have a break from caring for my mom at home. A special woman who worked hard all her life raising her children without my dad, she is the only parent I know, and it’s my duty to ensure she gets the best care possible. When I go to work, I use the same philosophy. Every elder is someone’s mother, father, sister or aunt, and they want the best for them. I see my own mother in others, and it makes the job lighter.
The Eden Alternative talks about the three plagues of loneliness, helplessness and boredom in elders. Tell a story about how you adressed this at work.
Loneliness–Connecting with others is the key to fighting loneliness. I chuckle when I hear someone tell the same story over and over to her tablemates. They always act as if it’s the first time they’ve heard it.
Helplessness–I like to offer lots of choice. What would they like to wear today, or eat of drink or do. It’s also important to enlist their help when possible. It gives them a sense of purpose and helps them feel needed and valuable.
Boredom–I like to find out not only who they are, but what they enjoy. Knowing what they love to do makes it easy to engage them in meaningful activity. I also love to talk to them about their lives. There is so much wisdom to be gained.
Tell us about a day you went home feeling you made a difference.
Hopefully that’s every day. When I help someone with their meal or make someone smile or engage in girl talk, I know I’ve made a difference to that elder. One day I went to help another care partner because an elder was refusing to have a shower. I had a relationship with this elder, and she allowed me to shower her. I felt I made a difference that day.
What is the most difficult aspect of your job?
When we lose an elder it’s by far the most difficult aspect. Because we develop relationships, we form close bonds, and it hurts to say good-bye when they pass away.
What advice would you give to all care partners–professional ones like you or those who are caring for family or friends?
Do your job to the best of your ability. See each person as an individual, and care for them as you would want your loved one cared for. Doing your best for someone is the best gift you can give them.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
*picture of elder used with permission
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Who is a Care Partner–Niala