“Will you be my neighbour?”
Fred Rogers’ winsome question prodded a generation to think beyond their cultural norms. Neighbours were the same age, colour and religion as me. They were adults, they didn’t have wheelchairs or (gasp!) mental health issues. When we did something for them, they gave back. Yeah, we could be neighbours with those folks.
Fred’s soft but insistent voice told us, week after week, that we were getting it wrong. Neighbours were children and came from other countries with different skin colours and cultures. Some of them spelled it “neighbor.” Some couldn’t walk or speak plainly, but he invited them all to be neighbours.
Will you be my elderly neighbour?
In the rush to keep our elders as healthy as possible and safe, sometimes the need for connection is lost. This is especially true for elders who live in the community. Isn’t this ironic, given the meaning of “community?” But the truth is that isolation can be rampant, even among those who live with family.
Why is Connection Important?
This elder expresses it better than I. Notice how her face lights up when she talks about sitting outside, watching the birds.
The difference between living and quality of life is found in connection. Without it, each day becomes a dry, unsalted cracker. It will sustain life, but at what cost?
Peer to Peer
“Mom lives with us, so connection isn’t a problem. We’re not there 24/7, she wouldn’t want that. She gets plenty of interaction.” While it’s true that elders who live with family are more connected that those who don’t, the need for time with peers is often missed. Remember the time in your life when most of your day was spent with toddlers and how you longed to talk with someone your own age? Although not a perfect comparison, it shows the importance of time with peers.
Connection Ideas
Sometimes, it’s just a matter of a suggestion. Time is precious, but with a few good ideas, time can be maximized. The positive of a great connection can last for days.
Attach a bird feeder to an accessible window. Sit together and watch the birds.- Arrange for tea with your elder and a friend. For an extra-special treat, make it happen at a local tea room.
- Take a drive in the country.
- Look through seed catalogues together, dreaming and planning.
- Record your elder’s memories.
- Dance together.
- Facilitate some kind of class or club of interest to your elder. Examples: a book club, art group or the like.
- Invite your elder to teach you something. Knitting? A family recipe?
- Plant seeds in pots for the spring garden.
- Make a meal together.
- Plan and create Valentine’s treats for the little ones in the family.
- Read and discuss a book together.
Connection can be simple, more involved, creative or an every day activity. The most important aspect is to keep it as a priority.
Because we all need neighbours.
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