“Others have it worse than you.”
I’m aware of this. People who struggle with diseases that may kill them, and which debilitate them along the way, carry a heavier load. Who am I to whine about pain and disability, especially when it may be temporary?
We need to be careful with statements like this. Although they are true (there are many people in worse situations than I am) the implication is that what I am feeling doesn’t matter. That should never be the case.
My intention in exploring my situation this month is to learn what I can about chronic pain and disability, and how it affects our elders and others. These lessons are valuable, and can be applied to many situations.
Do’s and Don’ts
Some of these may be universal and some may apply just to me. Either way, they are worth considering.
Do go for a walk with me. I need to walk and it’s so much more motivating if I have someone to talk with. I will social distance and even wear a mask (although I don’t generally wear them outside) if you want. I’m aware that “walking” with me is an act of love and probably the slowest you will ever move, but I really appreciate it.
Don’t drop over unannounced. I may be upstairs or downstairs, and if that’s the case, I can’t move fast enough to get to the door while you’re still there. Even getting off the couch and down the hall takes a while. Let me know you are coming and I will be close to the door.
Do ask me how you can help me. I may not have anything today, but tomorrow a few essential items may have been missed from my grocery order and you could pick them up for me.
Don’t do things for me that I need to do for myself. I know it’s painful to watch me do some things but it’s also important that I do them. I need to remain as independent as I can. Once last fall, while delivering a gift bag of jam to a friend, her neighbour ran to me as she saw me struggling from the car. 
She grabbed the bag of jams from me with one hand and took my arm with the other, walking me to the door. I knew her actions were birthed in a kind and caring heart, but they startled me and made me feel 100 years old. It may be slow and painful to watch me do things, but I can do them and I should.
Do focus on things that give me purpose. I struggle at the moment with feelings of uselessness. Ask my advice or let me help you in some way.
Don’t make decisions for me. I’m still in here.
Do pray for me.
Don’t worry if I am weepy. My emotions are near the surface as so much of this (even the upcoming surgery which will bring relief) is scary for me.
Do take my dog for a decent walk if you can. He’s so patient with my tentative plodding, but could use a good walk at least once a week.
And Now, For The Ridiculous…
Many of you are aware how reluctant I was to buy a cane. Call it pride, but the optics of it kind of drove me nuts. However, I have discovered many new and unconventional uses for said implement!
- A cane can pull anything you dropped on the floor toward you. I’m constantly dropping things, and the floor is so far away…
- Dog training. Teddy hates it, and putting the cane beside him when we are walking reminds him which side of the road he should stay on.
Plus, he has this annoying habit of asking to go out and when I finally get to the door, he decides he needs a treat first. Two taps on the floor with the cane and he scuttles out the door. (What a bonus when I discovered that one!) - Hook the bucket off the landing without having to step down. This is for the rare occasions when I am inspired to wash the floor.
- Turn lights off and on without leaving the comfort of the couch.
- Get sympathy when you are walking incredibly slow in a store and people might get impatient.
And finally (wait for it…)
6. It makes a great back scratcher!
One more “do” to add to the list. Do help me keep my perspective and my sense of humour. I’m going to need it.
CLICK TO TWEET
Oh, dear heart, I feel your pain. And I pray you will get the relief you need soon. I, too, am in the “moving slower than the world likes to watch” stages of life. (Neurologic condition.) The struggle is real, and so is the need for perspective. I love what you say about not negating how we feel because others “have it worse.” It’s not a competition. It’s life, and it hurts, and it’s slow, and we would change it if we could but we can’t so we keep going as long as we can. Praying for you, my sister in pain!
Thanks so much for your wise comments. “It’s not a competition”–I will remember those words in the future. God’s blessing on you as you share with others what you are learning through this season.
This excellent post will be empowering to anyone who is forced to resign to the necessity of using a cane. Who knows how soon that person might be me? Thank you for your uplifting way of sharing from your pain.
Thank you, Janice. Sometimes humour works best when conveying struggles.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on CBD oil for anxiety.
Regards
Review my webpage … CBD for anxiety