Sharon looked at the bins of Christmas decorations and already felt overwhelmed. “Christmas ornaments.” “Front Porch Decorations.” “Christmas Village.” She loved it all, but wished the Christmas fairies would come in the night and put it all up for her. Caring for her mother took a lot of her time and energy, and she didn’t know how she would do it all.
In the past, she’d made decorating into a marathon, completing it in a day and sitting with satisfaction and a cup of cocoa at the end. Not only could she no longer do that, she suspected all the abrupt changes in decor would unsettle Mom and cause anxiety.
Decorate gradually
Sharon started in early November. She chose a time of day when Mom felt relaxed, and 
each day they did a little. For 30 minutes, they would discover what a bin held and decide together where to put things. After the time was up they would stop for that day, unless Mom indicated she wanted to continue. They finished with hot chocolate, and it became a pleasant ritual.
There were times when the unfinished tasks and the open bins drove Sharon nuts. She wasn’t the type to leave a task incomplete. But Mom was enjoying their decorating each day, and by December 1st it was finished and they could sit by the lights of their tree and drink their cocoa. Without anxiety.
Quiet, please!
Mom loved the Christmas carols, but loud noises startled her, so Sharon kept the volume low. She tried to not bang the pots when she was cooking and kept other noises like the vacuum to a minimum. It was more challenging when the great-grandchildren came over, but she found small groups of just a few, and having craft activities to do together kept the noise levels down. A calm atmosphere kept Mom happier.
Keep portions small
Christmas means food, and a lot of it, but full plates can be daunting for small appetites. 
Sharon ensured her Mom had the amount of food on her plate that she could easily handle. Conversely, her mom had a sweet tooth and would eat a whole plate of cookies if it wasn’t guarded, and then get sick. Rather than putting out a plate of goodies, she gave her mother one or two.
Plan ahead
Sharon loved spontaneity, but that didn’t work for Mom. She needed time to get used to the idea of an activity, even if it was a favourite one. Sharon chose one project each day, such as baking, wrapping or writing the Christmas cards Mom still enjoyed sending. She’d mention at breakfast what they were doing that day, and several times until the appointed time. When the time came, Mom would be happy to participate. If it didn’t go well or Mom lost interest quickly, Sharon would pack things up for that day.
When the season ended and everything had been returned to the bins and stored away, Sharon reflected. This had been her quietest Christmas, but the lack of stress had been refreshing. For both of them.