“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
Want to turn this mild mannered grandma into a fire-breathing maniac? It will happen if you use this worn out cliche in respect to elders. Besides the utter disrespect of it (“Old dog?” Ex-cuse me??) it’s not true. Not even a little bit.
Although it’s true that older people can get set in their ways, it’s not true that they can’t learn something new or try a new experience. Or look at something in a new way.
What brought on this rant?
So often when we look at the topic of depression in the elderly, this fatalistic kind of answer is the go-to.
“That’s just the way she is.”
“He won’t be open to doing it any other way.”
“There’s no way she will…”
“You can’t teach…” Don’t even go there.
I need to stop at this point and remind you that I’m not talking about serious, clinical depression here. The kind of depression that digs in deep and needs counselling and medication. But for the blues, brought on by dwindling health and the other challenges of the elderly, here are some practical suggestions.
Look at medications
Most elders take many medications for a variety of medical conditions. No less than thirteen medications and classes of medications (sleeping pills is an example) commonly given to elders have “causes depression” as a side effect. If this is the case, ask your doctor for a medication review.
Look at connections
A good support system is vital, but it may be needed in ways you might not have considered. Certainly staying connected with family and friends is important, but also consider volunteering, joining a class or taking care of a pet. Many of the elders where I worked used to read with children in the local school who had difficulty with the language. Or they grew vegetables in the local community garden. Animal shelters are always looking for volunteers. If you are depressed, it may be diffcult to make this kind of connection, so this is where care partners can help. Find out the information, offer to drive or go along. 
Look for purpose
I know I keep harping on this, but someone who feels they are needed and their life has purpose seldom feels depressed. Look for what activity provides a sense of purpose.
Look at diet and exercise
Okay, this might be bordering on one of those “old dog” areas. But let me tell you my story.
I’ve hated exercise all my life. I was always picked last for teams, and I didn’t want to play on them anyway. I liked to swim, but not in pools, which severely limited both the access and opportunity. Bottom line–I didn’t participate in any form of exercise except the occasional walk.
Two things changed that. I got severe arthritis, necessitating two replacements, with the possibility of more in the future. I learned that if I didn’t move, I wouldn’t be able to move at all in a short time. So I moved. I did my physio. I bought a recumbent bike and used it daily. I walked.
The other game-changer was that my insurance company offered me an Apple Watch for the cost of the taxes. I could pay it off monthly, or I could exercise and they would pay it off. Guess what this frugal Scottish lassie did? Then, the Apple Watch set goals for me every month. Not too difficult at first, but with increasing challenge. If I met my goal, they gave me a plaque at the end of the month. It’s insane, I know, but I want that plaque. Every month.
In the diet department, over several years I have dropped wheat and sugar from my diet (both inflammatories and bad for arthritis) and dropped 75 lbs. from my frame.
Encourage your elder to start small. Suggest a walk together, a healthy picnic or an outing which involves some exercise.
Look at sleep
As a poor sleeper, I can tell you it affects mood, productivity and every part of the next day. I used to complain when told about the importance of sleep, “I can’t make myself sleep.” But I’m finding I can. Definitely my increased exercise helps me sleep better. A regular bedtime, a routine, no phone use, prayer and meditation. My sleep app is telling me I’m doing better, and my mood reflects it.
As a care partner, you may need to tread carefully when suggesting some of these ideas. Go slow, but expect the best, because new tricks are possible!
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Itís difficult to find well-informed people about this topic, however, you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks