I recently saw the pilot of a TV show that made me want to stand up and cheer.
A mostly non-verbal elderly man with dementia sits in his darkened room. An aid with a cart asks him if he wants some water. Without pausing for more than a beat, she says, “I didn’t think so.” She leaves the room.
As she closes the door, a tall, bearded doctor appears from behind it. He was hiding, and he pulls a garment bag from his shoulder and tells the man he has to get dressed in these clothes. A few minutes later they both appear, the elderly man in full formal dress in a wheelchair, propelled by the doctor. The nurses on duty try to stop them, but Dr. Wolf races them out of the building.
They are next seen in what appears to be a wedding reception. A middle aged couple spy them and begin to argue about the elderly man’s presence. He shouldn’t be here. He won’t remember. He doesn’t even know their names.
Dr. Wolf turns to the elderly man. “It’s showtime.” He wheels him to the piano, and begins to play a few notes of a song that was popular in the gentleman’s prime. Seeing a response, Dr. Wolf says, “Do you like that one?”
The gentleman, who hasn’t said a word to this point, says, “Not the way you play it.” Then he starts to play and then sing in a strong, beautiful voice. The whole room stops, and the bride looks with awe. “Grandpa?”
Because music had always been his passion, it awakened memories in him. He recognized his granddaughter, said her name, and put his hands on each cheek and kissed her.
Later, Dr. Wolf had to justify his actions to the board of the hospital.
“When a doctor looks at a patient, do they see the disease or the patient? I believe you can’t treat a patient without understanding who they really are.”
I am his doctor, and his condition can’t be cured. His world is darkening by the day, and those days are numbered. And while you would choose to forget him, let him rot, I choose to walk with him, find a path forward. Because nobody else will, not even his family. Yes, it’s true Harold can’t live for the memories. He only has the moment, so I’m going to help him, and patients like him, seize that moment, no matter how fleeting it might be. That is my responsibility. That is my job.”
The chairman of the board says, ” I get it. You want to change how your patients see the world.”
Dr. Wolf replies, ” I want to change how the world sees my patients.”
from Brilliant Minds, Season 1, Episode 1
And that is the essence of everything. It’s what is broken in our healthcare system related to the care of 
people with dementia, and it’s what we need to change. The basics of care, whether people are supported in their homes or long-term-care, what medications are given and many other issues are important. But at the basis of everything is this: do we see the disease, or the person behind the disease?
This month, we are going to look at how we can find that person and relate to them in ways which are meaningful to them.
Sounds like a fascinating show. Thanks for highlighting it here, Ann.
You’re welcome, Tracy. I love reading your blog as well, as it inspires me. The one called “Mom’s Last Christmas” made me also want to stand and cheer!