When moving someone into long-term-care, there’s so much to think about. From finding the right place to preparing your elder to making the move and getting them settled. So many details.
Is it any wonder people forget about one of the most important resources until several weeks into the experience? It’s not too late, but those who prioritize connecting with staff from day one, or even before move-in, find the whole experience runs smoother.
Why Connect with Staff?
From the moment they wake up in the morning through every part of their day, staff is 
connecting with your elder. Dressing, bathing, eating, having fun and dealing with problems–the staff is involved in all of it. If your elder has a problem, it’s the staff who can help solve it. If you want to do something special for them, you arrange it through the staff. If you are unsure about what to get them for their birthday, you can bet the staff know what they need. Good staff want to form a relationship with your elder, and you need to encourage this in every way. You need to get to know them, too, and appreciate them for what they do. They can easily become your good friends and advocates in the home.
Who to Connect With
- The full-time caregivers on the day shift, the afternoon shift, and if possible, nights. They might be called Personal Support Workers (PSWs) in Canada or Certified Nursing Assistants (CNSs) in the U.S. or simply caregivers, aides or care partners. It might be more difficult to know the night shift, as they work 11pm-7am, and if your elder sleeps well you may never need to reach out to them. But issues of wakefulness or night wandering can make your elder a concern to them, and connection, even in the form of a phone call, can be a help. A call saying, “I know this is a problem and let me know if I can do anything to help.” goes a long way.
2. Part-time caregivers. Sometimes these people are special favourites. They usually work two days a week.
3. Full and part-time nursing staff. If there’s a medical problem or question, these are your point people. If you want to talk to the doctor, you go through the nurse. If you call in the evening or at night, you’ll likely get one of these heroes and it’s great to have a relationship before you need to talk to them with an emergency or concern.
4. The advocate, team leader or whoever is in leadership. This is your point person, your problem-solver, your party planner and any other need you have. Get to know them well.
5. The Activities person. This is where the fun begins, interests are cultivated and quality of life happens. When visits and corporate activities are allowed again, you can plan your visits around what’s going on and join your elder for a tea party or even volunteer on a trip.
When to Connect with Staff
The answer is simple. From the first day and every time you visit or make contact.
Introduce yourself. Get to know them as people. Find common ground. Look for ways to appreciate.
How to Connect with Staff
A lot of practical ideas have already been discussed, but one remains. Check your attitude at the door. Realize from the beginning that staff aren’t the enemy. With few exceptions, they are eager to help. Get to know them, appreciate them and recognize their expertise where your elder is concerned.
As someone who lived that role of “staff” for many years, here’s my advice. We saw three kinds of family members. The absent family–thankfully these were few. The family who made constant demands, were never happy and made my stomach cramp when I saw their family name on the screen of my phone. The third and most common kind was the family who loved us and who we loved, who we worked in harmony with to make their elder’s lives the best they could be. We hugged when we saw each other and cried together when their elder died.
Be the third kind.
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