“It takes a village to raise a child.” African proverb
Care partners need a village, too. A group of sometimes unrelated people who in ways, big or small, pour into their elder.
I can hear you. “Yes, that sounds lovely. But I have no village. There’s only me.”
That’s a recipe for disaster. This month, we’re going to look at the implications of trying to fly solo in this journey, where and how to find your tribe, and some unusual people who could be a part of your team.
Being a care partner is an experience that can drain every part of your psyche. It affects you physically, emotionally, socially and mentally. Because of this, without support, the care partner can quickly wear out, become sick themselves, and be unable to support their elder. Caregiver stress is real, and needs addressing.
(Although this short video is specific to Alabama resources, the information is universal)
How do you know if you are experiencing caregiver stress?
Seven Signs of Caregiver Stress
- Sleeping too much, or having difficulty falling asleep or going back to sleep, but feeling exhausted all the time, even when you have slept.
- Constantly worrying, especially when you were never the worrying type.
- An unusual weight loss or gain. (Loss without trying, gain when trying not to.)
- Multiple aches, pains and health problems that can’t be explained by a pre-existing condition.
- Having trouble controlling your anger over little things which wouldn’t have bothered you before.
- Your “glass half full” attitude has suddenly become an empty glass, and your thoughts turn to despair.
- Activities which used to give you a break and be so much fun, now seem like too much trouble. You blame it on caregiving, but really, it’s you.
If even some of these are true of you, you need help. In fact, even if none of them are the case yet, you need help, because caregiving is a group activity.
Four Truths about Your Life as a Caregiver
- What you are feeling is valid. There’s no shame in feeling tired, sad, frustrated or any of the other many feelings you may be experiencing.
- There’s a good chance you feel guilty when you do something for yourself. Realize that you must look after yourself in order to care for your elder. Today, do one thing which nourishes you. Take a walk, have a nap, listen to music. Whatever it is, you need this
- You may need professional help. This, too, is something you are doing to help you to be a better caregiver. Embrace it.
- You should read my next blog about finding your tribe, because you can’t continue to do this alone.
The hardest part of caregiver stress is feeling alone. You aren’t alone, and as we look together at what resources and people can help you, the burden will get lighter.
- YouTube video: https://youtu.be/q7xcd6w81oM?si=qPoAGksTLtUt62ct