How to Respectfully Create a Safer Environment

On Friday, Sarah experienced the nightmare every care partner dreads.

She came over to her mom’s apartment to find her on the floor. Fortunately, she’d only slipped down as she tripped over a kitchen mat about ten minutes before Sarah arrived. Her bottom had received most of the impact, and other than a large purple bruise, mom was fine. But it shook them both up.

Fear turned Sarah from her normal, respectful attitude into a frenzied bully as she googled ways to make things safer in her mom’s apartment. “We need to get rid of those old lamps and bring in some decent lighting. Get rid of all the mats, And–” Sarah looked up to see her mother’s brows drawn together and her cheeks pinkening.

“I like those ‘old lamps.’ I bought them with your dad years ago and they are important to me. You can’t start changing everything around here. Besides, I fell in the kitchen, nowhere near those lamps.”

Sarah reined in her fear and the responding knee-jerk reaction. After more research at home, she negotiated with mom and they worked together at creating a safer environment.

Here are some of the things they considered:

Lighting

The old lamps stayed, although Sarah replaced their bulbs with ones with a higher wattage. She persuaded Mom to add a pole lamp in the corner, which didn’t change the look of the room much but dispelled some of the shadows. Mom thought the touch on/off switch was kind of magical!

Eye health

Normally good about staying on top of medical appointments, her eyes weren’t bad so mom tended to let that one slide. At Sarah’s suggestion, she scheduled yearly exams.

Assistive devices

It impressed Sarah how many walking aides were available. Mom took her cane when she went out, but didn’t need it in the apartment. However, Sarah felt reassured with how many options there were for the future.

Non-slip mats

The offending kitchen mats were replaced with a non-slip version. She and mom scoured stores until they found ones that performed that function and also matched mom’s decor. In the living room, Sarah found a product to affix the rug to the floor. In the bedroom, she persuaded the landlord to allow her to add carpeting at her expense. 

Grab bars

Sarah grinned remembering this issue. Mom admitted that getting in and out of the tub took all her strength, but she still loved a hot bath to relax her some nights. However, she insisted that grab bars in the bathroom screamed “old lady”. It took months of searching, but they finally found something that looked more victorian than institutional.

Shoes

Mom had worn a moderate heel on her dress shoes all her life and glowered at the thought of giving that up. They compromised  with an excellent support shoe for regular wear and a few pairs of dressier shoes which gave the illusion of having a heel. Mom also purchased a few dresses which she loved, because, “who looks at your shoes when your dress is amazing?” She promised to always use her cane when dressed up.

Alcohol and hydration

Mom seldom had more than an occasional glass of wine when out with friends, so this wasn’t an issue for her, but staying hydrated could be. “Needing to pee all the time is a bother.” Surprised at the many effects of dehydration and how easily it could happen, she agreed to fill the new, cute water bottle Sarah gave her with flavoured water and sip frequently.

Alert necklace

Sarah would never forget her horror when she walked in the apartment and found Mom on the floor. What if she’d laid there for hours? Days? When she told her mom of her feelings, she agreed to a necklace she would wear all the time. If she fell, she pushed a button and was connected to a service which would send help and alert Sarah. Mom never took it off, although sometimes she tucked it discreetly under her collar when she dressed up.

Care partners, do your research. There are many other devices, electronic and otherwise, which can help your elder remain safe, depending on their level of need. 

But what about the bubble wrap? How can Sarah ensure there will never be another fall?

Check back next week for the answer.