Just because “receiving gifts” is last on my list of love languages doesn’t mean I don’t like them! More than any other love language, this illustrates how they mesh together and depend on each other.
- If your main gift is quality time, a gift has more meaning when time and thought went into it. When someone listened and understood that I like something, went back and got it for me, that says “I love you” loud and clear.
- If words of affirmation are important, a thoughtful gift can speak them.
- “Service” gifts are wonderful, especially if your elder’s love language is “acts of service.” As a birthday gift, my fiancé, son and daughter-in-law are going to tear down my aging deck this spring and create a new one for me. You can bet that is making me feel loved!
- A gift given with a hug or a kiss to someone whose love language is “physical touch” can mean so much. And if distance makes that impossible, touch can be achieved through a kind note or call.
Gift Giving Gets a Bad Rap
People whose love language is receiving gifts can be misconstrued as materialistic. It may seem they think things are more important than people. If receiving gifts is their love language, this is seldom the case. The people behind the gifts are the reason the gifts are important. Also, if receiving gifts is someone’s love language, then missing an occasion (such as a birthday or anniversary) can be devastating. Although they know it isn’t the case, they can feel unloved and unimportant.
How to Help
For an elder who may have limited abilities to shop, giving gifts can be difficult, and this can cause anxiety if they love to give. Here are some ideas to make it happen, which will also fulfil other love languages.
- Create a calendar with all occasions on it, such as children’s and grandchildren’s birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc.
- Arrange a shopping trip, or help with online shopping. Work together to wrap and prepare gifts.
- Look at facilitating homemade gifts if possible, such as baking together.
- Help with suggestions.
- Subtly help with finances if needed.
Turn giving and receiving gifts into a fun activity with your elder and a celebration. At the end of the day, everyone is blessed!
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