Supporting all who care for elders
My new favorite poster is a picture of a goldfish wearing a shark costume. It says, “Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be.” So today, I will pretend to be brave and talk about Hallowe’en. When my kids were growing up, we did a modified version of Hallowe’en, but they never went trick-or-treating. […]
The Small Miracle of Shining Light in the Darkness Read More »
“Do you know Mr. Sully?” “Of course I do. I talk to him every day. He uses a cane and always wears a suit. He’s such a kind gentleman.” “But do you know him?” “I told you I do. His wife lived with us until she passed away. He was such a devoted husband. Spent
How to Really Know Your Elders Read More »
There are points in life when everything changes. Milestones where you can look back and say, “Here is when life was never the same again.” A diagnosis of dementia can be like that. Probably there were months and even years leading up to that moment when you wondered, suspected or even knew, but it wasn’t
After a Diagnosis of Dementia Read More »
“I just changed his diaper. You grab a bib for me, and I will feed him.” Is this a conversation between two parents holding their newborn infant? Or perhaps two Early Childhood educators in a daycare situation? No, it’s a conversation held between two care partners over the head of a non-verbal elder in a
How To Use the Right Words in Eldercare Read More »
Care partner stress is real, sometimes intense and wearing. When you are in the middle of the battle, you don’t want to hear “10 Ways to Beat Caregiver Stress” because most of them don’t speak to your situation, and you already know that stuff anyway. You want to hear how to get through today. I
Lobster, Lasagna and Memories Read More »
I probably make a thousand choices in a day. Most of them are insignificant and don’t even hit my radar. Which of my flavoured coffees will I have this morning? What will I wear? Will I have a salad or a sandwich for lunch? After dinner, will I read a book, watch a movie or knit?
How To Offer Choice and Provoke Respect Read More »
My friend, who I will call Jane, has been going through hell as a care partner. Her husband is suffering from a serious form of brain cancer, and their lives have been one crisis after another lately. Surgery after surgery, infection, seizures and multiple hospitalizations. Each day is a roller coaster of emotions, as she tries
Dear “Friends,” How Dare You? Read More »
Have you ever had your shoelace come undone at a time when it’s impossible to stop and do it up? Your arms are full of parcels, or you are standing on a crowded subway platform? There is nothing more awkward than trying to two-step around a dangling shoe lace while attempting to keep your body
The Small Miracle of Loose Ends Read More »
Few people seek out the role of care partner. Of those who do, most of them are paid to fulfil the role, and only a small portion of those feel called to the position. For the most part, the role of care partner is thrust upon family members who embrace it more or less reluctantly.
The Reluctant Care Partner Read More »
A special person I know is moving her mom into care in the next month. What a frightening journey that can be! She wrote to me, asking for advice. This was my reply: I was so pleased to hear you and your family had made the difficult decision to find a place for your mom
Advice on the Big Move to Long-Term-Care Read More »