It was time.
Hazel knew it and she felt sure her family knew it. No significant conversations about the topic had occurred, but her son had asked her to dinner tonight and the rest of the family would be there. Hazel had a sense she would be the topic of conversation.
She knew her kids worried and talked amongst themselves. They had reason to worry.
She stared out the window of her small apartment. Mobility became more of an issue every day, and with it, her isolation felt profound. She had a housekeeper and meals were dropped off several times a week. Someone came in (often a different person each week) to help her with her shower. She still handled her own medications, but loneliness stalked her every minute of the day. Unless someone visited, her imprisonment within these walls and her body felt profound.
She could walk, but not far and not without pain. Getting dressed meant an hour of struggle and she washed her clothes in the sink and hung them on a makeshift line on the balcony.
She needed more help. She must move to where she can get it. The realization haunted her.
The decision to move to long-term-care is seldom easy. Huge lifestyle changes, new people, community living–it can all be daunting. Families, too, struggle with making the right decision, especially if their family member isn’t as on board as Hazel.
Beyond all the practical considerations, Hazel had another fear. A little voice whispered in her head, “This move will be final. You will die in this next place.” And although that may be the case, Hazel needs to realize it’s possible to experience fulfilment and purpose in community living. The isolation she feels today, the gut-wrenching loneliness and crushing boredom aren’t necessary.
Come with me as we follow Hazel through her journey. Here are some of the stops along the way:
- Where should she go? What should they look for in her new home?
- How do they prepare for moving day? How to downsize without tears.
- Adjustment takes time. How can Hazel and her family best make this new place feel like home?
- The staff have an important role as Hazel adapts. What’s the best way to connect with them?
- Speaking of her family, it’s a change for them, too. How will they work together as care partners?
Do you know the most common comment I hear six weeks into long-term-care admission? “I wish I’d/we’d done this earlier.” With the right place and preparation, it is possible.
Come join Hazel’s journey.
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I was really looking forward to reading your Small Miracles blog on your new website, Ann. Now I’m making a list of who I know that would also appreciate your gentle advice while helping the elders in their lives. I especially enjoy reading about your personal experiences.
Lorna, I can hear you cheering me on! It’s a huge gift to think about who else would benefit and pass the website information on. Thank you!