Everything in me, body and soul, yearns for this time of year. The green grass, the budding trees, the garden. Maybe you don’t love spring with quite the same fervour, but most people look forward to the many celebrations and get-togethers of summer. It’s time to shed the layers and have some fun.
But what about your elder? If they have a heavy wheelchair that makes transportation awkward, or dementia which makes the success of the event unpredictable, is it even worth the effort?
There are so many reasons why “yes!” is the answer to that question.
This month, we are going to look at the why and the how of including elders in your summer celebrations.
Fighting ageism
“Grandma, does Dan really go to the gym?” Knowing that my husband loves to tease, my six-year-old granddaughter was sure my husband was pulling her leg when he talked about his time at the gym.
“Yes, he goes three times a week. He was there yesterday.”
“But how can he go to the gym when he’s so old?”
Last month, we talked about ageism, and that one of the most effective ways to fight it is through intergenerational activities. My granddaughter learned that day that old people can do all kinds of things–even go to the gym. When fun summer celebrations include elders, those barriers are broken down. (By the way, my almost 80-year-old husband would love to go zip lining if the opportunity presented itself…!)
Create and enhance relationships
Relationships take time and exposure. Families and friends need to spend time together to know each other better. When I am with my children and grandchildren, I am a fact sucking machine. I listen constantly for tidbits of information about their lives, their interests, and what makes them unique. This one ran a marathon, that couple has many friends and is busy with them most weekends. This one likes to dress up, that one loves soccer. I also try to share things about myself. I’m aware that the time I have to build relationship with them is finite. Someday, they will only have memories of me.
Share family history
My granddaughter came to me with a tiny, ornamental guitar that I keep in a cabinet in the living room. “Grandma, why do you have this guitar?”
“It reminds me of Grandpa. He used to play the guitar.”
“Can we meet this Grandpa?”
“No, sweetie. He died a long time ago, when your oldest cousin was a baby.'”
“So he never got to meet us?”
“No, but he loved being a grandpa, and he would have loved you all and been so proud of you.”
It took me by surprise, and realized I needed to talk about their Grandpa and others in the family (do they know I have a sister?) Next time, I will show them pictures.
Benefits for elders
Elders benefit in so many ways by being a part of celebrations. It reduces isolation, improves cognitive function, encourages movement and provides a sense of self-worth. There’s nothing like having grandchildren in a room with you, all talking at once, vying for your attention, to make you feel important!
We just celebrated Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day is coming soon. Beyond all the sappy rhetoric around these events lies a truth. Your elders won’t be here forever. Take time this summer to include them and make memories with them.