Supporting all who care for elders
Did you ever participate in an old fashioned tug-of-war game? Participants line up on either side of a sturdy rope, and at the command, everyone pulls for all their worth! Those on the sidelines yell and cheer, and eventually the stronger side pulls the rope, and the people holding it, to their side. As a […]
How to Navigate an Emotional Tug-of-War for Care Partners Read More »
The few days before the move to long-term-care rank high among the most stressful for the care partner, and often the elder as well. Here’s a peek into the care partner’s mind: Am I doing the right thing? Should I have done it sooner? Did I wait too long?
The Scary Move to Long-Term Care: 5 Ways to Prepare Read More »
It probably started with niggling thoughts chasing themselves through your brain. Mom looks unkept. She’d never allow anyone to see her with her hair unsettled before. She seems frail, too. I wonder if she’s eating enough. From there, perhaps you made an off comment to a sibling or other family member. “How do you think
How to Navigate the Minefield of Choosing a Long-Term-Care Home Read More »
“I’ll never put my mother in a home.” I’ve heard these words many times over the years. My biggest challenge is always to keep silent, or to carefully ask a few gentle questions. Spoken with conviction and often a sanctimonious air, the words don’t usually invite dialogue. Those eight words hold hidden messages and although not all
Why I Think My Care Choices For My Elder Are Better Than Yours Read More »
Margaret liked her stuff. She wasn’t the least bit materialistic. Not in the traditional sense. With her, it was all about the memories. Her sentimentality made it impossible to part with anything which had the slightest story attached to it. In her house, whole rooms were devoted to boxes of old pictures which she planned
How to Make Downsizing Your Friend Read More »
Freezing rain scares me. At work one day, freezing rain and wind swirled in the streets outside, and the bushes near the window became coated with ice. “Aren’t they pretty?” said a resident as she walked by. Yeah. Pretty. From the inside. When 4:00 o’clock came, I checked the window again, frowning. It
How to Navigate the Icy Ground of Change Read More »
“Will you be my neighbour?” Fred Rogers’ winsome question prodded a generation to think beyond their cultural norms. Neighbours were the same age, colour and religion as me. They were adults, they didn’t have wheelchairs or (gasp!) mental health issues. When we did something for them, they gave back. Yeah, we could be neighbours with
Will You Be My (Elderly) Neighbour? How to Connect Read More »
I made a valiant effort to keep the horror off my face. It was the yearly care conference for this resident and her four children sat in our meeting room with the doctor, physio, dietary staff and others. The purpose was to review her care plan and tweak it if needed. I had just explained
How Do Social and Medical Care Get Married? Read More »
What takes an elder from independent to needing care? It might be an event, such as a fall, a stroke or other medical crisis. It could be, like a slow leak on a tire, something that takes a while to notice. Bills aren’t being paid, conversations don’t make sense or a house isn’t clean because
What Really Matters in the Care of My Elder? Read More »
Some blessings are obvious, but some can take me longer to recognize. My story: The blessing of Jean I worked at a retirement home when I first met Jean. She lived in an independent apartment upstairs and once-a-month she’d call to book a room for her church meeting. Always gracious on the phone, she remained
How to Find Blessing in the Burden of Care Read More »