Elderhood

How to Have Difficult Conversations With Your Elder

Everyone in the family knew that Grandpa couldn’t hear well. The television roared when he listened to it, and the radio sounded at levels that rivalled his teenage grandchildren. In conversation, he growled about family members “muttering.” Why couldn’t anyone speak up these days? Conversations addressing the problem never went well. Grandpa would go off […]

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How to Cope When Your Elder Forgets Your Name

We’ve all done it. You’re calling one of your kids, and you run through the roll call of names, including the family dog. This is not that. This is when you sit beside your mother who walks with dementia, at a family event, give her a kiss and say, “Hi, Mom. How are you doing?”

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How Your Caregiver Journey Can Flourish With Excellent Support

I can’t remember what I had for sale. That’s not important to the story. I posted it on Facebook, saying that my price was firm because I would be using the money to put toward a recumbent bike for my niece. She had what we thought was Parkinson’s, and couldn’t safely walk outside, but this

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Important: After research comes action!

My shoulder is killing me. Tylenol is starting to dull the ache and make it use-able, but my mind is going in 100 anxious directions. As someone with a hip and knee replacement (and the other hip probably pending) I wonder absently how many parts you can replace. Should I look into physio? What about

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If Dementia Had a Park, What Would it Look Like?

We turned a corner and giant metal flowers caught my eye. I also spied statues of people, but we were caught in the flow of traffic, and although I craned my neck, I saw only enough to know I wanted to return. We did, that night, and I experienced a piece of Ottawa which touched

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Should Grandma Stay Home From the Celebration?

Sarah wanted to do something special for her husband, who “walked with dementia.” He’d always been a sports fan, and she decided she would take him to see one of his favourite teams play. He’d always loved live games, and maybe there’d be a moment which would bring back happy memories. It was a lot

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Can I Include My Elder in My Summer Celebrations? How?

I’m planning a wedding for this fall. Yes, my own. (Insert wild applause here.) Amidst the joy (this man is the one I prayed for) the fun (getting in touch with my crafty side) the work (sewing four flower girls’ dresses) and the angst (will my “country-chic” wedding look like a kindergartener put it together?)

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Practical ways for caregivers to tame the monster in your head

“Oh you idiot!” I would never say those words to anyone. Cruel, cutting and attacking character rather than the situation, they are totally unacceptable. Except I said them yesterday. To myself.  We are visiting my daughter and her family and living between their home and a motel. Returning to the motel last night, I realized

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Why Are Caregivers So Hard on Themselves?

    As a caregiver for my seriously ill husband, I worked a full day in the city and then, if he was in hospital as he was now, grabbed a sandwich or the like at the hospital, spent time with him and returned home in time to fall into bed. The next day I

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How Betty Showed a Young Man How To Care

It was time to say good-bye. The activation students had been with us two days a week for several months and on their last day, we took them out to lunch. These two young men had grown, matured and learned so much over the weeks. As we chatted together, my supervisor asked them, “What was the

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