Elderhood

Did You Know Your Elder Can Care For You?

In the week after my husband died, several milestones occurred, each bringing its own white-hot pain. Meeting with the pastor and the funeral director to plan a service. Entering the casket room and picking out a plain, pine box. Writing out the words to say at the service. Saying those words. Greeting people afterwards. Talking […]

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Finding Your Support in the Caregiving Journey

   “I’ll deal with that later. There’s too much to make sense of right now.”      If you are new to the role of caregiver, it’s tempting to take this attitude about getting support. Your elder needs assistance, but probably you’ve already started the process of getting medical backup for them. After all, you

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“We Got a Dementia Diagnosis. What now?”

You’ve been dreading today for weeks. Since you first noticed signs which disturbed you, since you brought your elder to their GP, since you went to a specialist for testing. Today you are sitting in the office waiting for results, and your stomach is doing that grinding thing. Then the doctor tells you your elder

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How is Dementia Like an Umbrella? Understanding the Basics

Recently Dan, my fiancé, had to go from the house to his car in the visitor’s parking lot through drenching rain. Not the visitor’s parking lot across the street, which had been full, but the one much farther down the street. Digging through the various coats on the coat rack, I found an almost forgotten

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The Love Language of “Receiving Gifts” Makes a Gift More Than a Gift

    Just because “receiving gifts” is last on my list of love languages doesn’t mean I don’t like them! More than any other love language, this illustrates how they mesh together and depend on each other. If your main gift is quality time, a gift has more meaning when time and thought went into

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Remember When We Couldn’t Touch? The Importance of Physical Touch to Express Love

     The first Sunday in church when they mentioned that some people might feel reluctant to touch, I thought they were crazy. They demonstrated how you could hip bump instead (while turning your head away–that was before masks) and I cringed at the ridiculousness of it and turned to hug the person in the

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How to Find Creative Ways to Give Quality Time

      We came together to celebrate my Dad’s birthday and to spend a few precious moments  before my parents went to visit my sister and her family out west for a few weeks. My husband and I, my parents and my two little girls visited over a meal, and of course, cake. I

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How the 5 Love Languages Can Impact Your Elder

Have you heard of the 5 love languages? For over 30 years, Gary Chapman has been telling us how to relate to each other by understanding how we best understand giving and receiving love. He talks about “keeping the love tank full” and warns that “isolation is devastating to the human psyche.” 1. Published in

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My Secret Recipe For Successful Elderhood

My mother-in-law had a secret recipe for plum pudding. Every Christmas it would be served with a choice of hard sauce or rum sauce, and my husband loved it. I wasn’t a fan, but understood that it remained a family favourite. My sister-in-law begged her mother for the recipe, but the reply always came that

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How to Live Your Best, Healthiest Life When You Hate Exercise and Love Sweets

I hate exercise in all forms (with the possible exception of swimming, but only in natural settings, never a pool.) I love sweets. I hate being hungry. I love to eat whatever I want, when I want and as much as I want. I hate feeling sick, having no energy and being unable to do

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