Supporting all who care for elders
“Oh you idiot!” I would never say those words to anyone. Cruel, cutting and attacking character rather than the situation, they are totally unacceptable. Except I said them yesterday. To myself. We are visiting my daughter and her family and living between their home and a motel. Returning to the motel last night, I realized […]
Practical ways for caregivers to tame the monster in your head Read More »
As a caregiver for my seriously ill husband, I worked a full day in the city and then, if he was in hospital as he was now, grabbed a sandwich or the like at the hospital, spent time with him and returned home in time to fall into bed. The next day I
Why Are Caregivers So Hard on Themselves? Read More »
I want to be an elder with a cape. You know the ones I mean? The man in his 90s who completed a marathon. The woman in her 80s with the hot, incredible body who moves with grace on the balance beam. She’s more flexible than I was at, well, ever. The nurse who works
Maybe We Don’t Understand Ageing. Are Elders Really Superheroes? Read More »
It was time to say good-bye. The activation students had been with us two days a week for several months and on their last day, we took them out to lunch. These two young men had grown, matured and learned so much over the weeks. As we chatted together, my supervisor asked them, “What was the
How Betty Showed a Young Man How To Care Read More »
In the week after my husband died, several milestones occurred, each bringing its own white-hot pain. Meeting with the pastor and the funeral director to plan a service. Entering the casket room and picking out a plain, pine box. Writing out the words to say at the service. Saying those words. Greeting people afterwards. Talking
Did You Know Your Elder Can Care For You? Read More »
“I’ll deal with that later. There’s too much to make sense of right now.” If you are new to the role of caregiver, it’s tempting to take this attitude about getting support. Your elder needs assistance, but probably you’ve already started the process of getting medical backup for them. After all, you
Finding Your Support in the Caregiving Journey Read More »
You’ve been dreading today for weeks. Since you first noticed signs which disturbed you, since you brought your elder to their GP, since you went to a specialist for testing. Today you are sitting in the office waiting for results, and your stomach is doing that grinding thing. Then the doctor tells you your elder
“We Got a Dementia Diagnosis. What now?” Read More »
Recently Dan, my fiancé, had to go from the house to his car in the visitor’s parking lot through drenching rain. Not the visitor’s parking lot across the street, which had been full, but the one much farther down the street. Digging through the various coats on the coat rack, I found an almost forgotten
How is Dementia Like an Umbrella? Understanding the Basics Read More »
Just because “receiving gifts” is last on my list of love languages doesn’t mean I don’t like them! More than any other love language, this illustrates how they mesh together and depend on each other. If your main gift is quality time, a gift has more meaning when time and thought went into
The Love Language of “Receiving Gifts” Makes a Gift More Than a Gift Read More »
The first Sunday in church when they mentioned that some people might feel reluctant to touch, I thought they were crazy. They demonstrated how you could hip bump instead (while turning your head away–that was before masks) and I cringed at the ridiculousness of it and turned to hug the person in the
Remember When We Couldn’t Touch? The Importance of Physical Touch to Express Love Read More »