Guilt

How to Identify Three Evil Triplets Which Result in Caregiver Guilt

It makes no sense. At a time in your life when you are stretched the most physically, emotionally and mentally, you feel guilty? You try to meet the ever-changing needs of your elder, keep up with your job, meet your family’s needs, keep the house in decent shape, all while feeling more tired than you’ve […]

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How to Recognize Caregiver Guilt

Mary’s care partner came to me looking frustrated. “I don’t know what to do. Every drawer and cupboard and extra space is stuffed full, and today Tim came in with more presents for her. She was delighted, but I have no idea where to put them!”  I smiled. Although it was a lovely problem to

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On the First Day of Christmas, Dementia Gave To Me…

The whole song leaves me wondering. Partridges are small for eating, pear trees are dormant in winter and as for the leaping lords and milking maids…forget it. (The five golden rings have possibilities, but I got a golden engagement ring in March and a golden wedding band in September, so I’m good for rings as

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Should Grandma Stay Home From the Celebration?

Sarah wanted to do something special for her husband, who “walked with dementia.” He’d always been a sports fan, and she decided she would take him to see one of his favourite teams play. He’d always loved live games, and maybe there’d be a moment which would bring back happy memories. It was a lot

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Practical ways for caregivers to tame the monster in your head

“Oh you idiot!” I would never say those words to anyone. Cruel, cutting and attacking character rather than the situation, they are totally unacceptable. Except I said them yesterday. To myself.  We are visiting my daughter and her family and living between their home and a motel. Returning to the motel last night, I realized

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Why Are Caregivers So Hard on Themselves?

    As a caregiver for my seriously ill husband, I worked a full day in the city and then, if he was in hospital as he was now, grabbed a sandwich or the like at the hospital, spent time with him and returned home in time to fall into bed. The next day I

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Pandemic Mental Health–How to Focus on What You Can Control

Sheryl slumped against the back of the couch. The world felt like such a scary place. New variants of the virus, thousands of deaths in India and now the U.K.’s numbers were escalating. Her own community faced a lockdown which the government had extended before the last one ended. Were the schools safe for her

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An Epic Care Partner Fail–How to Survive and Learn

Sometimes the best laid plans fail. This is true in life in general, but reaches a whole new dimension when working with elders. Even when dementia isn’t a factor, sometimes it falls flatter than a busted balloon. Speaking of balloons…even though Muriel was the grumpiest person I knew with no family and only one friend,

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Warning: Care Partner Guilt Can Destroy You

Have you signed up for the newsletter? Click here–it’s easy! https://mailchi.mp/ac4036fba65b/f7avdbea9h I grabbed the buzzing phone when I saw the words Credit Valley Hospital. The nurse explained my seriously ill husband rode in an ambulance heading to another hospital in the city which could better deal with his failing heart. My bus headed in the

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