Reciprocal Care

Why Are Caregivers So Hard on Themselves?

    As a caregiver for my seriously ill husband, I worked a full day in the city and then, if he was in hospital as he was now, grabbed a sandwich or the like at the hospital, spent time with him and returned home in time to fall into bed. The next day I […]

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Maybe We Don’t Understand Ageing. Are Elders Really Superheroes?

I want to be an elder with a cape. You know the ones I mean? The man in his 90s who completed a marathon. The woman in her 80s with the hot, incredible body who moves with grace on the balance beam. She’s more flexible than I was at, well, ever. The nurse who works

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How Betty Showed a Young Man How To Care

It was time to say good-bye. The activation students had been with us two days a week for several months and on their last day, we took them out to lunch. These two young men had grown, matured and learned so much over the weeks. As we chatted together, my supervisor asked them, “What was the

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Did You Know Your Elder Can Care For You?

In the week after my husband died, several milestones occurred, each bringing its own white-hot pain. Meeting with the pastor and the funeral director to plan a service. Entering the casket room and picking out a plain, pine box. Writing out the words to say at the service. Saying those words. Greeting people afterwards. Talking

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How to Help Your Elder Find Meaningful Acts of Service

     Lizzie loved to help others. When she lived in her apartment, she would trundle up the hill to the local grocery store to get groceries for her neighbour. She ran a tea party in the long-term-care section on Saturdays, and assisted with meals for people who couldn’t feed themselves. She handed out hymn

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How the 5 Love Languages Can Impact Your Elder

Have you heard of the 5 love languages? For over 30 years, Gary Chapman has been telling us how to relate to each other by understanding how we best understand giving and receiving love. He talks about “keeping the love tank full” and warns that “isolation is devastating to the human psyche.” 1. Published in

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What is the Most Important Aspect When Looking for a Caregiver?

Things aren’t always as they seem. Neither are people. You’d think by this point in my life I’d know that, and I do in theory, but I need to learn certain lessons over and over when they present themselves in a different context. Maybe you’ve found that, too. My job as an advocate mainly involved

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How to Bring Your Elder Purpose as Part of their Care

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Are We Getting Elderhood Wrong? How To Turn It Around

I want to be an elder with a cape. You know the ones I mean? The man in his 90s who completed a marathon. The woman in her 80s with the hot, incredible body who moves with grace on the balance beam. She’s more flexible than I was at, well, ever. The nurse who works

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Surprising Ways Those with Dementia Can Care For You

It was time to say good-bye. The activation student had been with us two days a week for several months and on his last day, we took him out to lunch. He had grown, matured and learned so much over the weeks. As we chatted together, my supervisor asked him, “What was the best experience you

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